A Dreaded Topic

By Michelle Abela


I'm 16 year old Shel Abela. The idea for this piece came to me after losing my sister two years ago as of November 5th, from Cystic Fibrosis. i have always had a passion for knowing what lies "after death" so I decided to write all about the questions I have and my opinion on the matter. I hope you enjoy my piece - 'A Dreaded Topic'.

One topic nobody wants brought up. 

One topic even I dread speaking of, but I do. Why? Because it is common in my world. My world of pain, sickness and loss, but also my world of love, laughter, risks and life.  

All around me I see people. The world full of different people. Not one the same, similar, but not the same. There are dark people, light people, tan, small, tall, skinny, chubby, straight, bent, ill, healthy, hidden, open, all different people. 

In and out of the hospital, monthly sometimes weekly. My sister constantly in for treatment. But not anymore. Now that is quietened. Not silenced, but quietened. From a very young age I had been experiencing death. The loss of hospital friends who had become hospital family, the loss of biological family, friends, pets, farm animals, and even people on my favorite T.V show.  I was always familiar with death. 

But what I don't understand is the fact that people say you know. They say "you know when your time has come." They say you can hold on for that one last family member you need to see, you can see the light. 

But many people who have experienced it can see no light. Is there no light because it's not your turn? Or is there no light altogether? Do your memories really flash before your eyes? Do you think about the things you should not have done? And the things you never got the chance to do? 

I'm not wanting to find out anytime soon, I just think it would be quite amazing to get in contact with people who have passed over and ask.  Sorry to those who don't believe in spirits or ghosts, but this is my belief and I have a right to share it. 

I don't always see them, but I can feel their presence, I don't always hear them, but I can feel their touch. Not too long after my sister crossed over, I was downstairs, nobody home, sitting in the computer when I had a thought about my sister. My shoulders went cold and my right arm got goosebumps, I felt a slight touch on my cheek. As if she had planted a kiss, it was the most terrifyingly beautiful experience. 

I can talk to her, but she never speaks back, I wish I could hear her voice again. Not a recording, I mean her. 

Do different people have different experiences? Or do we all have the same, well depending on the circumstance. 

Sudden deaths, such as plane accidents, car accidents, boats sinking, things like that, do you know? Do you know it's your time? I know with people in comas and who are very ill, they know and they can hold on or let go when they need to. Is it the same with sudden death? 

The scariest part is, if in 10, 20, 30 years time when or if I find out, I won't be able to tell you. You will have to find out for yourself. And that's the scariest part. I want to be able to share what I experienced, not physically but through a story. And I won't be able to do that. 

So if and when you find out after many, many, many more years of life. I hope that you can share your story with the people you want to.