Regarding Grief

By Peter Leske


I think I would cope better
If I felt more
If grief was sobbing tears,
stabs of pain,
or wrenching emotional pangs
Physical symptoms
Allow me to 'be present'
acknowledge and experience them
While this mental induced
exhaustion and lethargy
is more of a hurdle
that gets higher
every time I approach it.

Is the race over yet?
I'm ready to get back into life
Or am I still racing away
from something?

Marathon
hurdles
hundred metre sprint
and long jump
All rolled into one
one long event
No-one to pass the baton onto.

The crowd cheered at the start
And will be there at the end
But along this bumpy section
this long and lonely road
Out in the rain
and the blistering heat
Only the keenest followers
lend their brief moments of support.

The ends come
Grieving for what has passed
for a present without
and for a future
that will always be changed
This valid loss of mine
Permanent loss
means my life has forever altered
and I may need some time
getting to know myself
as a different person now.

Now
Present
The gift of life
includes this grief
There will be something that I learn
perhaps my own strength
And whether I choose to talk
or write about it
Or find other ways or creativities
to express and process
this distress
Nothing will depress
the cause of my duress
It started with
and will always be remembered as
Love.