My Life Without Eric

By Donna Petersen

I remember his strong laughter

I remember his devotion to being an older brother

I remember he lived life, had many adventures

There was the time he took me duck hunting

There was the time he took me near Cape Shack for abalone fishing

There was the times he was going to take me to the snow, but that never happened (yet!)

There was the time he took what I said in passing and made it come true

There was the time he came back for me

There was the time I had no idea what sad things he had experienced

There was the time I had no idea what hell he lived

There was the time I didn't know how his mum died or how old he was at the time

I remember him saying "Life is unfair" and I just didn't understand

I remember him telling Tim that for as long as he could remember, I always loved small things

There was the time he brought home two baby puppies just for me and mum blew a gasket

There was the time mum thought he was a disappointment, because he reminded her of my father

Then there were all those times I wish I could have more courage and contact him without fear of retribution

I miss him so much it is like a bottomless pit... I no longer fear death but believe I will embrace him one day

My grief is mine to own and keep, from now until eternity.

"he ain't heavy... he's my brother"